Thursday, August 23, 2012

My utmost concern or perhaps fear?

Couple of days ago some one posted in FB a news report about a 10 year old boy being gang bullied in school by his classmates, 15 of them to be exact. I was very surprise and taken aback by what the kids are doing to their fellow class/schoolmate. The intensity of the bullying is disturbing; the boys were inflicting excruciating pain to this boy.

This incident seems to have blown out of hand as according to the report the school brushes off the parent’s cry for help & justice in a some what care less manner. She eventually lodged a report with the police since no one is helping and her son is afraid to go to school.

I have read about such reports on school bullying by both girls and boys since earlier this year, I have a couple of friends who’s child started Primary 1 and months later was a victim of bullying. I was not concerned by all these reports because I think the school and the teachers will settle it; or so I thought. As for my friends’ case, they managed to resolve it when they speak to the principal & teachers who then take action against the bullies, eventually the case is closed.

DinoEgg will be starting Primary 1 soon, we are confident that he will be able to take care of himself. We know that he has no problem in defending himself, voice out his displeasure & complained to teachers about being bullied. However this is in the kindy, it’s a totally new world with new environment, new exposure to things & people, new experience to get used to, many unexpected things may happen in primary school.

Will he be able to handle all these changes?

Will he be overwhelmed?

Will he be able to adapt to the “rough & cruel” world after being in a "safe & comfortable" one for 6 years?

I shared the report & my concerns with daddy that night, his respond “He knows how to protect himself, no problem for him. He was protecting himself when R provoked him in the school’s toilet.”  (Our dear friend punched his school mate R from K1 on the eye when he pushed him for no reason.)  Daddy has been imparting some fighting self defense skills to him, on 1 hand I am not agreeable to it since we should tell our kids that violence is not a solution to every problem but on the other hand we have to teach them to retaliate or stand up for themselves when being provoked.  Especially for boys, they should be exposed to the harsh treatment as early as possible so that they can grow up to be a strong man, be the mountain for the lady rely on and the super hero that takes on the world for the lady.  Alright, drama mama talking here again lol.  

So I feel my muscles relax.

Then I start to worry again and my muscles start feeling tensed up.  What if HE is the one doing the bullying???  Remembering the incident that happened in April 2012 and shudder.  Of course since the day he is able to understand & grasp the idea of being disciplined, we have made it clear to him what kind of behaviour and attitude we will be expecting from him.   However, being as mischievous as he is now I always joke with my friends that I'd probably be called to the principal office or receive calls from the teachers every other day because he got himself into trouble.

In reality I definitely do not want this to happen!

Parenting is such hard & confusing work.  You have to teach your child the social etiquette and at the same time you have to nurture a street smart child.  Both teachings ensure surviving in the society & world but they sometimes contradict themselves in some ways that it can back fire which you will have a child with a lot of issues.  Just like cooking a pot of tasty soup, a pinch of this and a dash of that to mix with water is enough to make it happen, too much of any ingredient will spoil it altogether. 

I guess I will have to wait till the day DinoEgg is in Pri 1 to know he is on which side of the fence, to get a confirmation that we have succeeded in his early childhood upbringing.  Till that day comes, we just have to be on our toes and nip any behaviour that we deem not right.  Plus try to relax and have loads of fun & bonding with him along the way.

** ** ** ** **

Children Are Like Kites
Author: unknown
You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.
You run with them until you're both breathless.
They crash.
They hit the rooftop.
You patch and comfort, adjust and teach them.
Finally they are airborne...
They need more string and you keep letting it out.
But with each twist of the ball of twine,
there is a sadness that goes with joy.
The kite becomes more distant,
and you know it won't be long
before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together
and will soar as it is meant to soar, free and alone.
Only then do you know that you did your job.

~ ~ ~

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  1. You know what I'm going to say, right?

    I'm so glad that I will have you to turn to when C starts Pr school in 4 years' time!!

    1. *palm face*
      cannot lah! what if i give u the wrong advice?? Stress me for something tt is going to happen in 4yrs time *palm face again*

  2. Heh heh! Didn't manage to reply cos I was busy on Thu! :P

    Hang in there, and I pray for a SMOOTH transition to P1... and yeah I agree with MummyMoo there. Haha! We have someone to talk to when our kiddos reach P1! Haha!

    1. Ok I'll post here then all of u can see how things goes :P