Thursday, April 4, 2013

OUCH! My son just slapped some sense into me.

"Mom! You are always looking at the bad things!"

This was thrown directly at my face in the middle of a heated argument.  Wait... in the first place why am I even arguing with a 7 year old?  Anyway...

It started off when I reprimanded DinoBoy about the way he speaks and he got upset.  He is always speaking before he can gather his thoughts which will always end up with something like this "Mama, you know... yesterday... errmm... errmm... yesterday Ms XXX tell us something... ermmm... you know the... errmm...", you get the gist.

Ok, so he was upset that I interrupted him with my "scolding" and he crossed his arms and frown.  We stopped walking and I told him to calm down, uncross his arms and wipe that frown from his face; all in a nice calm way of course.  Instead of doing so, he accused me of not listening to him, so not true, I always listen but I just do not like the way he speaks because some times he will throw up his hands in the middle of it and proclaims that he has forgotten what he was trying to tell me.  It makes me feel frustrated because I know he has something interesting to share with me and now I won't get to know about it.

I told him I am listening now, I am giving him 100% attention but he simply refuse to say, I guess he sensed the impatience and frustration in my tone.  Still with the frown on his face, I told him to calm down and if he won't he will go to school in anger which we both know what will happen - temper tantrums.  He refused.

And I let frustration got into me, then I did the unthinkable... I hurled negative remarks at my child *gasped*

While stomping off I rattled on and on about his behaviour, his actions (and a few other things), that he will definitely lose his temper and I will definitely receive a call from the school in the afternoon.  Even when he repeatedly said that he won't, I ignored him, my ears are shut and I can sense a headache coming, even though it may not be true but I was already playing the scene in my mind of the moment when I answer that call.

That's when he shouted that to me, not once, but three times.  It snapped me out of my negative state of mind.  We were at the junction waiting for the green man and I took this opportunity to calm down and gather my thoughts.  We walked the rest of the way to school in silent, its only a few minutes but enough time for both of us to calm down and for me to gain my composure.

Now, I have to do damage control.  Before I sent him off through the school gate, I got down to his eye level and told him that he will always be my son who is great in every thing he do plus a bunch of encouraging words.  The frown finally leaves his face and it was replaced with a smile.

We gave each other a couple of good tight hugs and a high-five before he walked with a skip into the school.

Everything turned out well.  No temper tantrums from him that day *smile*

I guess while trying to find solution(s) to tackle DinoBoy's issues in school, I have hit a bottle neck where I am really lost.  Plus with the recent events at home, every thing just sort of affects me in a worst way then I imagined.  Its time I seek sanity and regain control of myself.

~ ~ ~

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SANses.com's Talkative Thursdays

4 comments:

  1. I think being a mum comes with a "worrywart" menu / tag the moment the kiddo is born. Seriously. I think the "negative comments" also stem from a whole list of worries and being Asians, we tend to be more curt and direct because the whole she-bang of hugs, kisses and affirmations sure did not exist during our growing up days when the parents are worried about making ends meet. So, breathe ok. We are all getting there. It must be tough with so many things going at home for you too. I'd remind you when I see you to be more 'positive' too :) *Hugs*

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  2. *hugs* We may be moms but we sure are human too, and losing our cool at the most inappropriate moment sometimes happens. Z is a mature boy for his age, and I am sure he will also understand your heart. Good job on putting things right before he goes off to school though! I think that really helped him cool off and calm down! :)

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  3. I think you are handling everything that has happened so far very well already. It's not easy to control and compartmentalize our lives when everything is snowballing in our face. We are after all only human and will slip up sometimes. I am very sure everyone agrees you have a very close relationship with your son and he is also a very sensible boy. He knows you are under a lot of stress lately and will not hold it againest you. You don't have to worry too much about the little mister. The other matters in your life however, you just got to hang in there and ride it out. Stay strong my friend!

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  4. It's not easy being a mom. I know Z is a very understanding boy and knows what you are going through now. Glad that you resolved the issue before school started so both of you can enjoy the rest of the day.

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