Thursday, July 31, 2014

Thank you for your kindness and everything else

For the month of July, a group of friends and I are embarking on a mission to thank the people around us for their acts of kindness. If you know of someone who has done something kind to/for you, won't you join us as well? Simply post it on your Facebook status, and if it's about a friend on Facebook, feel free to tag him or her to join in too. No competition, no challenges, no stress, no hidden agenda. Wouldn't it be nice for once to see Facebook be flooded with kindness instead of the usual complaints and selfies? - Adora of Gingerbread Mum

It was a good initiative but I did not participate, not because I couldn't care less nor I am not being appreciative or I did not receive any kindness from any one.  On the contrary, I have received so many help that my list will probably be a mile long. 

Anyway, my life has been turned upside down since DinoBoy embarks on his primary school journey.  He turned from a predictable, calm and sensible boy into a defiant child, a monster with a capital M.  Many a times I was lost on the ways to deal with him, I tried to gave excuses or reasons for his beahviour; of course its the wrong way to deal with a problem, but that was my way out a situation.

At the same time, DinoPapa was going through some changes in his career, it became more demanding and the pressure to hit the monthly target is giving him extra stress.  Later on he was required to work on shift that usually ends 10hours later with no break in between, not enough time for his lunch and dinner.

I was left to deal with DinoBoy and every thing else, alone.  Sometimes it was so difficult for me to carry on, some days I just want to give up on every thing and ignore all the problems on hand.  I was not a happy camper instead I was grouchy, miserable, depressed, stressed up and bitter.  I think DinoBoy sensed these too and it added on to his already tensed emotion.  Regardless of all these, I was blessed to have family and friends who offered me advises, support and concern.

Source - Unknown
There were 4 of us, I was #3, the hot tempered rebellious middle child.  We quarreled, squabbled, fought and at some point in our life we even detested each other.  I am glad that our relationship got better after we got married and have our own family.  I think we matured a lot after that and being away from the family makes us miss each other.  I cherish each and every moments we spent together even if it's a simple dinner at Mum's.  I am sorry if I can't find time to arrange for dinner dates at my house, I hope I will be able to do it soon. 

They say we can choose friends but we can't choose our family, I am glad that we belong to the same root and being there for each other on all occasions; celebrations and tough times.  Blood is thicker than water they say, and I agree, you can forsake your friends but you can never truly abandon your family.

For my wonderful siblings and their extended family, a deeply indebted Thank You; especially for my older brother, for everything all of you have done and the help you have given to me during my difficult times.

Photo Credits

For those who stayed away from me during these difficult times I want to say a big "Thank You!".  No, seriously, I am not being sarcastic or spitting venom while saying this through my clenched teeth, I truly meant it.  I admit that I was not the best friend during these years; having to face difficult challenges every day alone does that to a person, I took it out on my friends, ranting and ranting, crying out loud to them "WHY ME!" "WHY AM I NOT SEEING LIGHTS AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL YET??".

They made me realized that not every one could stand being hurled all the same negative stuffs everyday, not even the bestest of the bestest pals.  I hadn't realized that I was affecting my friends with my rantings and being a burden to them till they left me, even the bestest of the bestest pals.  They gave me a wake up call and I told myself that I should be more mindful towards my remaining friends, I clammed up and shared minimal stuffs, only to open up when some one asked me or willing to hear me out.

To you, a grateful Thank You for giving a kick on my butt if not the face and making me wake up.

Photo Credits

For every negative there is always a positive, I am glad that even if I am contagious I have some friends who stuck around or with me, friends who never fail to pull me up when I am feeling down or give me a boost of encouragement when I felt lost.  And most important of all, they allow me to vent my frustrations, woes, problems, agony plus a load full of logical or illogical nonsense without any complains.  They probably rolled their eyes many a times but since we usually chat virtually I can't see that, although I wouldn't mind if they do that in my face. 

At the same time I shared with them my joy, happiness and gratitude when my problems are solved with their valuable help and advices, on every hurdle DinoBoy crossed, on every challenges I had overcome and succeeded in slaying my dragons.  They never fail to celebrate all these victories with me, sometimes even with a "I told you so" to which I always smile with my deepest gratitude.

One day I was feeling very down and post my thoughts in my fb status, sensing that a friend came to my office with a slice of chocolate cake to cheer me up and she wrote a sweet note on the serviette.  I have forgotten the issue that made me felt so blue, don't know where she bought the cake from, can't remember the exact date but I remember that slice of chocolate cake taste better than all the cakes in the world.  I will never forget her kind gesture and thoughts. 

To these friends, a big Thank You! & many hugs to you.  You didn't know but you are the ones who let me keep a bit of sanity so that I have the energy to face another day of challenges.

Many of my friends know that I am a very involved mum, well perhaps not involved in DinoBoy's academic performance as I still forget his test dates till the very last minute.  Lucky for me, he fares well in that department so I do not need to worry about it.  I can't say the same about his social and emotional behaviour, "an Angel at home and a Monster in school" - that is what I told my friends.  

With every out bursts, my blood pressure shoot up a little bit.  I am very grateful that DinoBoy has wonderful & caring teachers since child care centre days.  Instead of labeling him as a defiant child, a hopeless case, "that naughty boy", they gave him many chances to better himself.  I was under utmost stress when I will hear feedback from teachers every other day.  At the same time we just found out about Mum's illness, I was devastated which added on the stress that I was handling at that time.

All thanks to my foresight, I was expecting some issues from DinoBoy when he started his primary school journey.  I decided to prep the teachers, telling them to "Please call me if there is any problem."  So instead of keeping me in the dark on his behavior till the situation got out of hand, they called me on any situations that happened that day.  Together we handle the situations, we were always on the same page in coaching and counseling DinoBoy on ways to handle his emotional and anger management.  I was relieved that I had extra help from the school (I think the teachers feel the same too), I would not have been able to go through and survive all those challenges. The teachers sincerely wish and hope for DinoBoy to become a better person.  

I have to say that our hard work and efforts has paid off, DinoBoy is more calmed and able to socialize better with his peers better.  A heartfelt Thank You to the teachers from DinoBoy's school and student care centre! We made it!

Photo Credits

It's still a long road for me until the day where we are out of our current situations but I know that I will never have to walk or face the uncertainty alone.  I know that besides DinoPapa, I have many other people whom I can turn to for reassurance, get a little bit of sanity back, cry and slobber my gunk on some willing shoulders (ok ok I'm not so gross I'll keep those to myself).

Thank you every one, for being here or been here in my life!  Each and every one of you taught me a lesson and its a great lesson I have learn!


  1. Hi Jen, Sorry to hear that it's been a rough couple of months for you. I'm so glad that at least Dinoboy's teachers are on board with you and helping you keep an eye on him in school. From what I see of him, he's definitely far from being a monster! Any time you need an extra ear, remember that I have two ok? :) Hugs!!!

    1. Hey Adora, don't worry about it =) I'm already on the road to a better days, just feel that I have to get this off my heart to be really free. Thanks for offering ur 2 ears, can I bring my tears, slobber of gunk, mucus and every thing along too? hahaha~

  2. Hey, just want to say, you are not alone. I'm having a hard time with my girls too, they both take turn to drive their mum up the wall. I asked, why people say it will get better along the journey of raising a kid, while my motherhood is so hard that many a time, I want to run away from home...

    There is a reason (or two) for everything happens to us, they say, don't they? I think I am meant to be tested. Constantly. I just hope it will be towards a better end, if not, a pit stop.


    1. Hi pc, there will never be a pit stop because it will mean that you have given up learning and striving to be better =)

  3. You are strong and wise. Your foresight ensured that you didn't have to wait till things got out of hand. Kudos to you!

    1. Thanks Dreamer! These are life lessons that we learn, it's up to us to embrace it and change ourselves into a stronger person or goes the down hill way. I am glad I have so family, friends and acquaintances to show me the right way.