Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Don't Worry, Be Happy? Of course YOU CAN!

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a motivational speaker on youtube and she shared a story that speaks of my current mindset which set me free from all my bonds earlier this year.

The short version of the story goes something like this;

One day this motivational speaker was out and saw a cat on a leash, she thought to herself that in the night she will try to set the cat free.  Of course she didn't want to set the cat free but instead longed for it to be free.

As she watched the cat, she noticed that the cat was not really yanking at the end of the leash.  The cat seemed to understand its limit and would run very very fast almost till the end of the leash and would stop, looked around, as if saying to her "I know how long this leash is.".  

Well, the cat certainly has a potential of making itself miserable at the end of the leash but it is not doing that.  She was just superimposing how she would feel if she were the cat on the leash over how the cat feels.

After reading that, let me lead you on to do a little bit of imagination.  First, think about the times you have seen in real life or on tv how a cat behaves when it's caught either on a leash or catch-pole or net.  Do you remember seeing them fighting with fierce hissing, fangs showing and claws drawn?  Not a pleasant sight indeed, especially if you are at the receiving end of the fangs and claws.

Zoom in onto the trapped cat.  Did you notice that the harder the cat fight, the tighter the noose of the leash or catch-pole tighten or it gets more tangled up with the net?  The longer it fight what ever that is restricting its freedom the more tired it gets and eventually feeling exhausted it started to give up the fight AND hope, allowing Fate to creeps in and do whatever it has planned for it . 

Allow that image sink slowly into you.  Now, close your eyes and imagine the leash represents all your problems or stress or issues or dynamics you are facing now... then YOU as the Cat...  The receiving end of the injury caused by the fangs and claws are you loved ones and friends.  What are your thoughts now?

Let's pull your attention back to me for a while, many of you knows that I am facing challenges and stress from the family since late 2012, a few of you know some details and a handful knows the full story but all of you saw my roller coaster rides all these years, the Ups and Downs where there were more Downs than Ups.  There were times where I hit rock bottom and crawled into hiding instead of brushing the dust off myself and brave on.  I was constantly feeling miserable, sad, angry, depressed and it was so bad till I started to detest myself to the point of almost giving up!

I was that trapped Cat.  The key word here is WAS.   I am still that Cat but I do not feel as trapped or hopeless as before.

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Friends who heard my life story or was there as a listening ear & support would often asked me "How can you take in all these stress?", back then I replied to with a dejected sigh "What can I do? Just have to shoulder on and face it."  Now when I hear the same question I'd laughed it off with "Well, I ranted and that's enough for me, what's there to worry?  It will past soon."

I didn't have a change of mindset over a night, it took me almost a year to reach where I am now in a slow and steady pace.  It wasn't easy, not for some one who wallowed in negativeness, sadness and bitterness for years but I learned to let go.  "How?" you asked.  First and foremost, you MUST want to change for the better.  Frankly, 3 years is a long time for a me to feel miserable and yes, if I don't step in to make a change I fear the worse will happen to me.  Secondly know the length of your leash and decide which path you want to go.

It's that simple, just two paths to choose from.

Path #1 You can choose to fight and risk choking yourself to death or pass out with exhaustion, scratching and drawing blood on every one who tried to help you along the way.  

OR Path #2 you can make peace with yourself and do not allow yourself or anyone to make you yank that leash ever again.

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What is the difference?  Well, the "right in your face" obvious different will be for Path #1 you'll probably grow old and die immersed in loneliness (OUCH!  Did I just slapped you with the truth?).  Sure, the problems, the chains and the dynamics will still be there for you to tread through (opps!  Another truth), but the whole process will be less damaging on yourself and those around you if you go down Path #2.  

On top of that, your emotional mindset must change.  Even though you wish to crawl out of that suffocating situation it does you no good if emotionally you still feel lousy.  "How to achieve that?" you'll probably ask again.  Well, it is not a secret method but one that has been floating out there since so long ago.  You have always heard the others said "Wake up in the morning, take time to feel grateful, be happy and you will feel better, the day will be better."  

I take it a notch higher and shout "Be happy, satisfied, appreciative, thankful, grateful and all of that, embrace all those great feeling any time of the day!"

It doesn't matter if you hold that happy thought or embrace that thankful moment for 1 sec or 30mins or a whole day (YAY!), what is more significant is that shift you have created within yourself when that happened.  Remember positive vibes will attract positive things, one happy thought leads to another.  This tiny ripple will cause a chain reaction within you which eventually will manifest you and your thoughts thus giving you strength to face your challenges in a positive self healing happier  way.

YOLO or You Only Live Once, don't let this ONE life become a meaningless/aimless journey.  Don't let misery cloud your eyes, mind and soul, preventing you from seeing the beautiful world and wonderful people around you or let failure stop you from perusing that dream you have.  And really, the problems will still be there if you do not have a final solution to it at that moment there is no point in constantly thinking about them and wishing you are at a different situation/era/space/dimension.

At the end of the day, the Earth still rotates, seasons changed,  people moved on, you may have tackled all your challenges or still trying to work towards that solution to end it, all these becomes a learning paths for you, branded into your memory unable to wipe them out.  Perhaps, one day something prompted you to think about them and when that happened, you can most likely smile to yourself for overcoming them and emerged a better successful YOU.

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Don't be that Cat that kept yanking at the leash, be the Cat that sat at almost the end of the leash enjoying it's freedom, however limited it is.

The year is coming to a close and it's time for New Year's Resolution.  This time, why not just make ONE resolution and vowed to keep it for the next 12 months?  Simply shout at the top of your voice for the world to hear

"I Want To be Happy!".


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