Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I am but a Human

Photo source : Unknown

Look at the picture above.

How many of us are doing such stunt?  Twirling and balancing plate or a few plates on each pole?

I am such person.
I have different roles.

I am a daughter, a sister, a mum & a wife.
I am also a friend, a co-worker, a subordinate, an acquaintance.

There are expectations and requirements for each roles.
There are definitely a few poles for each roles.
There are of course different attitude to be portrayed for each roles.

I try my utmost best to keep the plates spinning in a balancing manner.
I try my utmost best to prevent the plates from slipping and crashing onto the floor by dashing to the ones that seems to be twirling slower and are wobbling.
I try my utmost best to twirl the pole with care lest too strong a twitch by my wrist sends every thing crashing down.

But alas... I am just a human.

There is only so much things that I can do for every one.
There is only so much burdens that I can carry on my shoulder.
There is only so much emotions that I can hold in my hands, be sensitive with it and treat it with tender loving care.

What happens when I have the dreaded feelings that enough is enough?
What happens when I slipped and behave out of the normalcy?
What happens when I simply feels tired and just want to give up?

What happens then?

"Just be YOU for those who matter"?

What if every one matters to me?
Because you will not be part of my life if you do not mean anything to me.

Do I allow myself to raise the white flag?

No.
Because I have -high- expectations and requirements for myself.

I am like wading in mucking water

not sinking
not drowning
but surviving

Alas... I am but a Human...

A listening ear
A knowing heart
A comforting word
A reassuring voice
A consoling hug
A silly laughter

is all I need.

12 comments:

  1. Such an emo post! There will always be moments where we feel overwhelmed with the going-ons in our life. But know that you do have friends who care for your well being too. I'm just one of them. *hugs* let's do lunch soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lunch? Not possible since I can't or rather I don't want to take any more leave, left with only 10 days till December.

      Delete
  2. oh no..! I am in a similar mood today! Which is why I lim kopi alone! *hugs* tmr wil be better okay? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lucky we did not go kopi together otherwise we will drown in our over flowed emo haha~

      You enjoy your kopi n drink ur emo-ness away ok? *hugs*

      Delete
  3. I think that it is really important to accept that you cannot be all things to all men and set yourself some boundaries.

    Lovely article and I love the way that you have written it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Sometimes we do tend to take on more then we can handle.

      Delete
  4. This is great! It describes exactly how I feel and I know sooo many other task juggling women feel. Really loved this - great note to start a very full day on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some men also juggle many roles too but women tends to have more becoz the child tends to look for mummy instead of daddy =)

      Delete
  5. Strive on my dear Jennifer. It is not going to be easy but we need to continue trudging on this journey. No one ever said life was easy, and I wished it wasn't so darn difficult. Slow down and give yourself a break when u have to. Sometimes the best way to deal with challenges in life, is to stop and just inhale in deeply and exhale slowly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the encouragement Rachel!

      I try to take a breather but its not often, I only have my pre dawn moments to rest and relax for a while.

      Life is never easy but its extremely difficult when it keeps throwing me curve balls constantly.

      Delete
  6. I m constantly plagued with such feelings of melancholic too n often if i dont snap out of it i'll b angsty n vent it on the hubs n we might end up quarrelling. Though each time i think i hv a legitimate reason, somehow ppl ard dont see it that way. The hats worn r expected of me. But no appreciation is shown.i often reprimand myself for not doing enough n doing them well..m all over the place but i cant help it. Thankfully i the internet has brought me closer to ppl who feel likewise n my sanity is kept in check n it pushes me to keep on going, my friend, u r doing vvvv well thus far n there will b times when plates hv to b dropped. But life's a bitch n it has to go on. Jia you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Self reprimand and self pity are dangerous but sometimes we just can't help it. Its like we are doing so much already and yet others does not think that it is enough or gather that we should and could do it better.

      Delete