About the Book
Title: The How-Not-To Guide To Parenting And Marriage (Kindle Edition)
Author: Jon Ziegler
Publication Date: May 2013
Summary: The How-Not-To Guide To Parenting and Marriage is a collection of offbeat, humorous stories written by a well-intentioned, but definitely far from perfect father and husband. Although the book has elements that nearly all parents and married couples can identify with, the author also delivers a hilariously unique perspective that definitely sets it apart from the usual "funny things my kids said and did" kind of humor.
So if side-splitting parenting and marriage humor is what you are seeking, dive into The How-Not-To Guide To Parenting and Marriage, and you might just be the next person to say, "I laughed until I had tears running down my cheeks!"
The How-Not-To Guide To Parenting and Marriage - written by A Man... about his marriage life... about his Daddy duties.
Oooo~~ this is enough to get me excited. Oh c'mon ladies~ how often do you get to hear or even read about a Man's view on marriage and parenting without giving us their macho male attitude or those irritating "I told you so" smirks? I thought it was a book about the "Do Not Do these"advises and tips, from a Man's but I was wrong. Let's just say that if you are looking for some tips on how to be a better husband/dad or hoping to gain an insight of a man's complicated brain so that you can better understand your man, sorry mate, you've got the wrong book. However, IF you are are interested in real life stories of A Man and his daily challenges as a husband to a wife who works as a nurse, a dad to 2 beautiful girls and a trainer (lol) to his 1 dog and 2 cats, THEN you've got the right book.
Let's admit it, we all love to know some if not every thing about other people's life, we like to hear their Story of My Life events. Why? So that we can "share" our views and/or experiences with them, so that we know we are doing all the right things and most important of all we can secretly pat our chest and tell ourselves silently that we are not a bad or the worst partner or parents in the whole wide world coz that position is taken up already.
With this book, you are definitely going to relate to a handful of things he and his wife did. I did the S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G-O-U-T-T-H-E-W-O-R-D trick when we did not want DinoBoy to know about something when he was younger.
DinoBoy called it The Funny Book, I have to agree with him, and we have a reason for that. When I was reading the book I was laughing so hard and so loud that my sides hurts. DinoBoy read the book too, yupe I let my 8YO read it, not the whole book but the few times when he caught me laughing so loud (something he rarely see me do) and makes him run up to me asking eagerly "Mama! What are you laughing about huh huh huh?!??", I just have to share it with him even though he may not understand all of it. His favourite story is this;
I was never the kind of dad that was shy about tackling my share of the diaper changing duties, and I think I became quite adept at it.Now, you probably think that the dog is guilty of the Smudge, well~ you are probably right hahah~ but I'm not telling.
On one particular morning, I found myself face to face with the kind of mess that every parent dreads. The poop containment properties of the diaper had completely failed and there was "matter" everywhere. But this wasn't my first rodeo, so wielding baby wipes like a samurai warrior, I charged headlong into battle.
After ten minutes of very intense hand-to-butt combat, I declared victory and began to put the child's onesie back on. Glancing down, I noticed a smudge of poop on the back of my left hand. It was hardly a concern in light of the toxic cleanup I had just performed, but as I reached for another wipe to remove the smudge, I noticed a second patch of poop on my right forearm.
Now I was mildly annoyed at my carelessness, so I headed to the bathroom sink to wash up to my elbows and be done with poop smudges.
After scrubbing thoroughly and drying, I glanced in the vanity mirror only to find yet another smudge of poop that was shaped like South America on my forehead. "What the . . . . ?"
Enough was enough. I stripped naked and put all my clothes and underwear into the garbage. I then took one of the most thorough showers I've ever taken in my life, washing every square inch twice. "Well that takes care of that!" I said aloud, and headed for the fridge for a glass of iced tea.
As I raised the glass of freshly poured tea, I noticed on the glass, near the rim . . . a smudge of poop and two more on the pitcher and the fridge door handle.
"Okay, you got me!" I said in a loud voice to whoever was running around with a bucket of poop, smudging things. But there was no one there . . . just the click, click of the dog’s toenails as he trotted in to see what the commotion was about . . .with poop smudges on his ear and tail. I was dumbfounded.
This is one book which I will most likely bring out to read again and again, especially if I am feeling a little bit down. It has got so many stories that really tickle me and giving me a chance to laugh out really loud plus, they said Laughter is the Best Medicine right?
The kindle book is free for download from 18th January to 19 January 2014 (PST)
About the Author
Hello, I am Jon Ziegler, the author of The How-Not-To Guide To Parenting and Marriage. I am a tree trimmer by day, and love to do my writing in my spare time. I draw my inspiration from my wonderful wife and two daughters.
When I wrote The How-Not-To Guide To Parenting and Marriage, it was just an outlet for all the silly stories that float around in my head.
I knew that when I would tell parts of these stories to people, they often found it hilarious, but I didn't know if I could get the same reaction if I tried to write it down.
I'm just now starting to realize that there is a devoted audience out there for the book and it thrills me. I am truly grateful for everyone who has a twisted sense of humor similar to mine, and love the fact that people enjoy the book.
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